Being An Adult..

Remember when you were little, and you look at your parents and think "wow! It's so awesome being an adult! Nobody tells you what to do..you have your own money..and basically you get to do whatever the hell that you want!"

well..hello there..it's 15 years later and guess what? I'M A FREAKING ADULT!

and let me tell you something kids, adulthood is not sunshine and rainbows..don't ever wish you were an adult unless you're an heir to a fortune then mayyybee your life is a bit cool and awesome. But for the rest of us muggles here, adulthood is rough. You have to think about boring stuff like bills, and insurances and rents and work and ugh! I don't know..lots of boring craps.. and honestly..you are tired almost all the time. like seriously! why am I so tired?! I don't get it!

Of course there are super human that are able to do it all and get their shits together and still look perfect and flawless with a smile on their face. My mum is one of that super human. But I honestly can't do it. I am behind in almost all of my work. And maybe because I'm so tired all the time, I stop putting effort to my works? Like I do it, but just to get by. Honestly, if I were to give it my all, my work can win a Nobel prize. (exaggeration really..but you get what I mean)

Oh! and did I tell you I am a walking ball of fat now? Not that I was any slimmer before..I mean really I am always a fat and hairy girl.(thanks bullies for putting that in my head..it's a scar that's never going to heal) but before this at least.. I can still fit into a size L or XL..but now, even an XL is a danger zone. I look like a Michelin tyre in an XL...AN XL! huh! really noreen..but it's my own fault..I keep eating junk food and fast food so of course I'm fat.

It's a vicious cycle really. I'm an emotional eater. (I should probably see someone about that) So, I feel fat and like a loser. (there are those days) So I eat. but it's because I eat..I am fat. But I'm stressed..so I eat. But that's why you're fat..oh what the hell! I'm already fat so just eat.

This kids, is only the tip of the iceberg into the world of adulthood. There are so much more stressful, annoying and boring crap that I have to deal with, but let's save that bit for the next post. I really feel overwhelmed just writing this down, but hey at least I've let it out.

So, until the next post kids. (God knows when)

-still learning to be an adult-

AE is on its way!!

Unlike my bestfriend, Mijah..i have not completed my AE..like a lot! But I'm not worried, I know that I can do it. I'm awesome like that. However, one thing that was bothering me was if my supervisor will accept my AE. After all, I did not see her at all this semester, but don't get me wrong, I do text we her and stuff. But still the 5 times requirement! ugh!

then, something wonderful happen. i decided that i have to text her and apologise and well tell the truth, that i still have a lot to do and set an appointment with her as well. and to my delight, she accepted my apologies and even gave me her blessings. her exact words was "you have my blessings. do your best." i'll never forget that. probably the most beautiful thing i've ever heard and this only makes me want to accomplish even more. so as we speak, i am in the process to complete my AE, assignments and presentation. And with that, I will graduate!

See you later. thank you for your time!

JCROSS PRACTICE: SONGS LYRICS AND THEIR SINGERS

https://www.dropbox.com/s/h75x9z438wowsii/songs.htm

Noreen Is Back and Laughing!!

Good morning!!

If you've read my previous emotional breakdown post, than you probably feel worried. Well, just wanna say that apparently, all I need is to pray five times a day, an awesome day with the whole family and my loving brother! seriously! I feel awesome now! NOREEN IS BACK! hahaha! where did she go anywhere before right? hahahahaha! Now I wake up early in the morning and is able to sleep at night.

Today I plan to finish my AE questionnaire and anticipate 2014 that is coming soon. I can just tell that 2014 will be amazing! It's my year. Oh yeah.. uuu! n one more thing, Runningman totally made my day too. In fact, I'm going to kick this day with some Runningman! So, here is a pic of my fav show! That's it for now ! XOXO..

Kwang Soo my fav character!

Monday couple!

Monday couple is the best..really hope they get married..hohoho..love them!

Facebooking myself to self discovery..

Facebook is so stalker friendly, it's scary. Social network used to be just for us young people, but now, your mom, dad, sister, brother the whole clan is on it! Thank God for twitter! If my family start having Twitter, than my life is ruined. In today's society, being yourself often have something to do with how you portray yourself online. People get to know you by what you post and your status update. Most of it just bullshit i tell you, like everyone pretends their life is so fucking amazing but really it isn't. There a stats that i read somewhere about how Facebook update really just putting a simple day into an awesome day! like a LIE! Update never really tells you the truth of that person, sometimes it does, other time, it's just a lie to show that they have a life. kind of what i'm doing. so, i stop posting update on fb or twitter..at least until i hv a life again. for now, i just want to focus on rehabilitating my life.

just like how demi hv her low moment in life, i believe this is my low, i hv neglect my religion, my academic, my family, my friend n my responsibility. when mdm roslind said that i've changed..n it's not a good thing, she was right. i did change. i was secretly depressed. so secret that even i didn't realise it until now.

i decided that no one can get me out of this funk besides me. i am the master of my own emotion n life. yes, Allah is there to help me, but only if i change first. remember, "Sesungguhnya Allah takkan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum kecuali kaum itu sendii mengubah nasib mereka". Basically meaning that even God can't help you unless you're willing to help yourself.

SO, NOREEN AMIRA HELP YOURSELF! BE A BETTER YOU..TODAY!

to atie........

woah!! umm..hai atie..didn't know you actually read my blog..my heart was pounding as i read what you wrote on my fb msg..i just had like a momentarily mental breakdown. it's nice to know that someone actually care but it is also scary to know that someone actually reading my thoughts, then again it's me who want to share it with the world. i feel like deleting my previous post, but i shouldn't. i always do that. write something then delete.huh..it's funny, the person who you think care about you don't, but the person who really care about you..respond. so , i don't know what i'm actually writing here..i just want to say..thank you atie and i love you..and i feel loved..

Awkward...

Watching the show Awkward on MTV made me realise that a blog is not supposed to be something that I do so that people would notice me. It should just be an outlet. It's like I'm sharing my thoughts with the world without the world really know about it. Because no one really want to read about me. Who am I? Nobody that's for sure. I have no income of my own, I don't know what I'll be when I graduate and frankly, I don't know whether I will graduate on time. My practicum was hell. I even fail one observation and the rest was not so good. I know I can be a good teacher. But my lecturer sure don't think so. But that is the story of the past, I moved on. Now, it's time to focus on the future. AE...huh, It's almost 2014, and still I haven't e-mail my supervisor my questionnaire. I want to, but every time I try to do it, nothing. blank. Honestly, I'm easily distracted, I tend to watch TV or browse the internet, watch movies, singing, dancing,  reading and the next thing I know, it's time to start another day. I'm insomniatic. I don't sleep at night anymore. I just sleep during the day, I haven't seen daylight for almost a month now. It's worrying. I'm scared. I'm crazy. I didn't pray, for like two months now, and that is sin. shit crazy. what the hell is wrong with me?! i don't know. i can differentiate what's right anymore. no body push me any more. it's all up to me. and super scary. now i'm sleepy, like what the f?